Friday, November 13, 2009

Great Wooden Actors #2 - The Testosterone Trio.


It is only fair that ‘actors’ who are basically clones of one another are written about as one ugly lump.

Yes, I am talking about the vastly repulsive and totally uncinemagraphic ‘talent’ that is Steven Segal, Jean-Claude Van Damme and Vin Diesel. These chaps are masters of Ju-Jitsu, Karate, kickboxing and cross-stitch. No-one in their right mind would upset one of these human killing machines. Moreover, no-one in their right mind would want to sit through one of their movies...

It is rather strange to think that anyone would actually enjoy watching any one of these three meat-heads kicking ass. What the actual attraction is of a couple of hours of this crap is a bit of a mystery to me. The films in which they feature are merely vehicles that are shaped around their manly fighting/killing skills. There is no actual story, or at least not one that can be taken seriously.

I think that the main purpose of films starring Steven Seagull, Van-Diesel or Jean-Claude Great Dame is to entertain meatheads who are not famous. They are hugely influential when it comes to people mimicking them for anti-social behaviour purposes; many an ASBO could never have been awarded without their valuable input.

Van-Diesel is the newest recruit in the Chuck Norris School of ‘Kick-the-Living-Poo-out-of-You’ and has already become a huge success in such sentimental modern classics as ‘Pitch Black’ and ‘xXx’. The people just cannot get enough of him it would appear.

I recently heard that Steven Segal was rumoured to be interested in doing some Shakespearean theatre, but the person who told me this is now on different medication and has improved tremendously.

So, the only thing left to consider is which of these tough cookies takes the biscuit? Well, if I could bring myself to actually watching them ‘act’ then I may be able to decide...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A Slight on Sly



If you fancy having a good laugh then read this post called, ‘A Rocky Road to Hollywood’. Sylvester Stallone really is a wally and, as this article proves, it is incredibly easy to take the mickey out of him. How can anyone possibly take this guy seriously anymore? In fact, how could anyone have ever taken this guy seriously?

In my opinion, when you have spent the last thirty years portraying varying degrees of monosyllabic meatheads it is high time to step out of the limelight and hope that people will forget about it all...

Keep a low profile, ‘Sly’; the proper actors are coming to get you!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Great Wooden Actors #1 - Sylvester Stallone.



Out of all of the modern actors there are a few that I find pretty annoying; and out of those few there are a couple that strike me as being naff. Narrowing things down even further you are quickly left with Sylvester Stallone.

Yes, Sylvester Stallone, the mainstream ‘hard man’ of the eighties and nineties who has given us a long list of really crap films. How can anyone take this guy seriously as an actor? If you have been unfortunate enough to have seen him ‘act’ in any of his movies then you will know exactly what I am talking about. Let me put it this way; if Sylvester Stallone and Homer Simpson were both nominated for an Oscar in the same film then Homey could eat his donuts without any fear of getting indigestion.

I suppose you have to give some credit to ‘the Italian stallion’ though because-

No, I’m sorry; I just can’t give him any credit. It is just impossible. And fancy being known as the Italian stallion for God’s sake. If people called me that then I would stay indoors!

I have heard rumours that when the stallion reprised his tear-jerking role as ‘Rocky’ (another absolutely ridiculous name), for the twenty-eighth film of the franchise, they had to use CGI techniques on his flabby torso. It is also understood that anti aging skin care products were in good supply.

Apparently Mr. Stallone is a huge ‘sex symbol’. I find this a tad difficult to believe. How can women be attracted to a drooling, mono-syllabic creature that is happiest when stuck to a windowpane with his swollen and sulky-looking lips? Perhaps it was a misprint; yes, that’s it, a misprint. For a moment there the planet was turning the other way and I was in a parallel dimension...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Learning About Lindsay.


When I saw this blog I read it purely because I had never heard of Lindsay Lohan. I am all for trying to educate myself when I am surfing the net and I was suddenly very concerned that I was not up to date with the world of glitz, glamour and all things celebrity.

After reading this post (and also checking Wikipedia) I was suddenly back with the times. Now I know exactly who Lindsay Lohan is and what she is doing with herself.

The internet is not just great for learning new things; it can also help people (like me) to get with the times...

Regardless, I think that I could have lived without Lindsay Lohan in my life, I think I will just stick with Lisa Edelstein thanks!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Some Facts About Acne Scars


Acne is a skin problem that hounds not only teenagers but some adults as well. Oil glands in the skin discharge sebum which is an oily substance. Sometimes sebum is spilled under the skin due to breakage in the wall of the gland and mixes with bacteria and dirt causing inflammation or swelling and redness in the skin, which then goes on to form pimples or acne. Generally the face is affected by acne but sometimes acne may appear on the back and chest. Treatment of acne is a painstaking procedure, but your main problem and misery starts once you are over with your acne, because it leaves behind scars which can be really deep and ugly. The depth of the acne scars depends on the skin type and varies from person to person. There are different types of treatment for acne scars depending on the type of the skin and depth of the scars. There are generally following types of acne scars:


1. Acne scars are caused due to increase in the tissue formation of the skin known as keloid and hypertrophic scars. Keloid scars are genetic in nature.
2. Acne scars also occur due to decrease in tissue formation, which means collagen build up is less in the skin. This type of acne scar is quiet common.
3. Acne scars which are large in size with sharp sides and razor-sharp margins are known as depressed fibrotic. Their appearance is similar to chicken pox.
4. Flat scars which are soft, with violet or bluish color are termed as Atrophic macules.They fade with time.
5. Acne scars which vary in size and have edges which are sloping are known as deep soft and superficial scars.
A person can seek treatment like laser treatment and dermabrasion for the removal of acne scars.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Tips For Keeping Your Pores Clean and Clear


While it is important to make sure that you are taking the proper steps needed in order to treat any current acne you have, it is more important to make sure that you are properly ensuring that your pores remain clear. In order to prevent acne from coming back, you have to make sure that your pores are clean and clear. It is the clogged pores that causes such blemishes so making sure that you are keeping your skin properly clean is extremely important.

Everyone already knows that you should be washing your face in the morning and in the evening but what about the other steps to take? For the women out there, it is important to avoid makeup as much as possible. When it is used, make sure that you are properly washing it off of your face just as soon as you can. It is also a good idea to make sure that you are keeping your hands away from your face. Also, make sure that you are changing your pillow cases at least two to three times a week in order to reduce the amount of dirt and oil buildup on the pillow.

Make sure that you are keeping the telephone handset as clean as possible. The bacteria that can be phone on a dirty handset can transfer to your skin during use and cause your face and pores to become overloaded with bacteria. Be sure to reduce the amount of stress in your life and drink plenty of water. By following these tips in combination with a healthy diet and exercise routine, you will see a fresher looking face in the mirror in no time at all. Don't underestimate the importance of the exercise either. Taking up something you genuinly enjoy like horse riding or rock climbing are good ways of ensuring you do this regularly. So what are you waiting for? A healthy and clear complexion is waiting for you so start treating your skin the way it should be treated and protected.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Becoming Younger Again with Anti-Wrinkle 55 Serum


Have you tried dozens of anti-wrinkle creams without getting any positive results? Perhaps you have become so frustrated that you’ve decided that over-the-counter creams just aren’t where it’s at if you want to get rid of wrinkles. Well, fret not as there is an anti-cream so powerful that it actually does what it promises. This cream is known as Anti-Wrinkle 55 Serum.


Okay– I know the name is not the snazziest in the world, but that’s not what matters here. What does matter is what’s inside the serum. In fact, the ingredient combination found in the Anti-Wrinkle 55 Serum is so unique I highly doubt you’ll find them anywhere else. Why? What other anti-wrinkle cream has gold in it?


You read that right! Anti-Wrinkle 55 Serum actually uses real 14-karat gold flakes to help eliminate your wrinkles. They do this by drawing out toxins that are found on the surface on your skin. From there, the Serum’s collagen-building ingredients begin infiltrating your skin’s cells. Then, after a month or so, the collagen fibers within your skin get rebuilt, which straightens out your wrinkles.


So, how much does Anti-Wrinkle 55 Serum cost? Ultimately, it will depend on where you buy it from. But it is possible to get Anti-Wrinkle 55 Serum for as low as £19.98, (or $28.95 in U.S. dollars). Such a price is definitely not bad, as some wrinkle creams have been known to go over £34.50. At only £19.98, the cream costs about the same amount as any other brand that you could get over-the-counter.


As far as actually buying the cream, Anti-Wrinkle 55 Serum is widely available online. And, unlike other brands of wrinkle cream, Anti-Wrinkle 55 Serum can be found at outlets that cater to an international audience. So, non-US residents don’t have to forego the Serum’s wondrous benefits.